adventures in dysthymia

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

LETTING GO of the past is not always easy. Perhaps never easy, at least for me.

Seven years ago this month I was going through a breakup with the one I considered 'the love of my life.' Hey, we all make mistakes. Incidentally, this was the woman who introduced me to the folk music scene here in Florida by dragging me to my first Florida Folk Festival. For that, at least, I will continue to be grateful!

Although I received little or no acknowledgement in the years since, I continued to send her birthday and Christmas cards, occasional bits of news (only the really big stuff). But I let her birthday last month go by without a card and I've no intention of resuming. It truly is time to let go.

That doesn't mean forgetting. I'll remember the good -- and the occasional bad -- forever. I'll remember her dogs (mostly now gone), the subjects of my (award-winning) poem, Dogs and Poetry. I'll remember that she rarely got my jokes. Now there was a definite clue we weren't right for each other...

Though it has nothing directly to do with her, being written way back in 1988 (when I was still primarily Country music oriented with my writing), here's an old song that reflects some similar feelings:

I CARRY YOUR PICTURE

I carry your picture around,
It’s right here in my wallet;
A little piece of yesterday,
Reminder of another time.
Maybe it’s just foolishness,
I’m sure that’s what you’d call it;
But I can’t help remembering
That you were once mine.

I still carry your memory,
You’ll always be a part of me;
I can’t forget and I won’t let go,
You were my one true love and so,
I’ll never throw your picture away,
It’s all that’s left of yesterday.

I’ll think about you now and then,
And how it used to be;
When we were together,
I thought we’d never part.
I was so in love with you,
And you said you loved me;
But you went and left me anyway,
You went and broke my heart.

Stephen Brooke ©1988

1 comment:

Acoustic Eagle said...

There seems to always be that someone who will leave an indelible impression. When the relationship doesn't work out and one realises that the relationship failed for maybe good reasons, what I think it comes down to is how that person made you FEEL. Only that person made you feel like that- only THEY were able to do that to you.

On one hand there are the plusses- the things that were wonderful about that partner -but the negatives drive apart. Having a relationship with all the positives in place I think is rare magic.