Friday, July 03, 2009


I hear their hallelujahs
I hear their marching feet
I see that gang of Mormons
Cruising down the street
Here come the Witnesses
The two are bound to meet
Some are packing bibles
Packing holy heat!

It's the rumble of the righteous
A turf war of the true
Missionary mayhem
Trouble on the brew
Those fired-up Saints are gonna
Take on Jehovah's crew
Close your doors and lock 'em
Don't come out till they're through!

There's two or three outside
knocking at my door
I pretend that I'm not home
But they're mighty hard to ignore
Wish they'd just go away
As I've wished it often before
No sooner do they leave
Than here come a half-dozen more!

It's a brouhaha of believers
A clash of oratory
Death-match of the devout
Each claiming this territory
They're passing out the Watch Tower
Or Joseph Smith's odd story
Can't say I'll read either one
This side of purgatory!

Stephen Brooke ©2009

I joked a few months back about the idea of Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses fighting over their turf a la street gangs, but forgot the concept until a JW dropped by here the other morning. I was doing lawn work so I couldn't hide! At any rate, that jogged me to start writing a poem (or is it a song?). Admittedly a bit rough at this point. Should it be longer? I hate to belabor any idea, especially one that doesn't really have a lot of depth to begin with -- one simply starts rehashing the same joke, verse after verse. I've sat through too many 'humorous' songs like that! Anyway, I've tried to keep it short, simple and reasonably silly.

And, of course, no offense meant to the Witnesses and Saints out there. Not that many (any?) read this blog.

1 comment:

tom sheepandgoats said...

No offense taken. It's a cute poem.

And, yes, it is a little awkward for us when both groups are on the same street.