adventures in dysthymia

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Myth is created by the poetic and misinterpreted by the prosaic.

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God is infinite being striving to fill infinite emptiness.

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'Common sense' is another name for lazy thinking.


Simply some thoughts upon which I may eventually expand and expound. Perhaps next year.

On the general subject of next year, I was not really expecting to still be in my caregiver role at the end of this one. Mom seemed so frail and failing last winter, yet she truly became more 'alive' once warmer weather arrived. Yes, her mental state continued to degrade but she seemed healthier, more alert.

It looks downhill again now, though, as winter proceeds. I really have to keep a constant eye on her as she will do harm to herself -- particularly, putting things into her mouth that shouldn't be there. I can only 'childproof' the place so much. Other things she may do might exasperate me at times, but are not, in general, dangerous.

For instance, this morning while I was in the next room she decided to dump the entire 'slop bucket' intended for the compost heap into the dish-washing basin. What a mess! And let's face it, I'm fussy and somewhat OC about keeping things in order. Which does help me plan for problems but also upsets me when things go off the rails.

One thing I did not accomplish -- and will not accomplish -- this year was much recording. I realize that it will not be possible to immerse myself in the studio for the near future. That goes for the art studio too, I suppose. Actually, both parts of the house are closed off for these coldest months -- I'll expand back into them in the spring. In the meantime, I fuss with a little composing via midi on the office computer, which I have temporarily relocated in my bedroom.

So, fast away the old year passes...and it was not a great year but it could have been worse. I enjoyed some music (in particularly Mary's new CD and the Tom Jones Praise and Blame -- love that album), kept in touch, after a fashion, via the internet, and, well, survived. We'll see what 2011 holds.

I guess I'll soon be getting nursery catalogs in the mail and thinking about investing in things to stick in the ground come spring!

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