adventures in dysthymia

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Friend

Several years ago, I met a woman I rather liked online and attempted a long-distance relationship. It was probably not the best idea; what with the physical distance between us and the demands of being a caregiver, I could see it was unworkable and called it off. It was, in fact, the only relationship in my life that I ended on my own — I much more used to being dumped.

Perhaps with good reason, as I tend to be self-absorbed and distant at times. But that is beside the point.

Might I have fallen in love with her? Maybe I did, maybe I only wanted to, but either way, I could not allow it. It would have been a disservice to both of us, as proven by the increasing demands of my duties in the following years. But we remained online friends, even if our interactions grew fewer.

Until a few weeks ago when she simply ‘un-friended’ me on Facebook. Why? I’ve no idea. Perhaps just clearing the clutter and I was no longer relevant to her life. It did hurt a teensy to lose her so unceremoniously, but so it goes.

And life goes on and I go on. But I do hate losing a friend.

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